Saturday, April 25, 2009

My Rosary



I grew up Roman Catholic. And my family was not one of the apparently blasphemous only on holiday attending type of Catholic brand either. We went every Sunday, religiously. Now don't get me wrong, my family did not look down upon part-time Catholics, I just knew that others did. I've been trying to look back on my time in the church.....did it form me? (think my family did more of that for me) Did it help me as a spiritual being? (yes) Did it annoy me? (plenty) And what do I want for my kids? And if we show up now after being gone so long will we be looked down upon too?

As it turns out as much as I can tell, the most positive feelings I have of my religion are pure and simple nostalgia.......ahhh, Christmas Eve, seeing friends, my grandparents big ole' church in Towson with the stained glass windows, the sticking off the pew tighted legs, the doughnuts......
I do have faith. These days it's just not found in between walls. And do I bring my children into the church just so they can have fuzzy warm feelings about pastries?

So I think back even further about my thoughts on church, religion and the whole rigmarole.....
You see, I was a good kid. A really good kid...I remember having to try REALLY hard to come up with bad things for confession....the worst I guess was that I WAS LYING and making stuff up in confession because I couldn't come up with any sins....you can ask my family, this is true. I was so good mainly because I was terrified of getting in trouble. I did not like that confession thing. It left an impression on me. But I did like the ministries where we actively helped people, working with food drives etc. I still donate to SOME (So Others Might Eat) and think that that kind of kindness and volunteerism are kind of a church in of itself.

So, right now, I'm kind of a Catholic in remission. I do think our family will venture into those hallowed halls someday when the kids stop looking at wide open spaces as places to have HUGE lightsaber wars. Perhaps we will EVEN be those type of Catholics....holiday Catholics.Perhaps we will shoot for once a month.(?) And alas the bonus is that I am NOT going to ever have to lie in confession again, dammit! (see there we go, that's something right?)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This made me smile (and giggle!).

-Kacky

zukzuk said...

Hey Beth, thanks for stopping by!

Love that carousel photo and the beautiful detail in your work.

Hoping you had a super weekend and find inspiration for a relationship with your religion that makes sense to you!
;-)