Sunday, November 29, 2009

MOSK-Mother of Small Kids

(one of those rare moments with the two boys drawing together, love it for the moment, that is)

If you can find fake vampire teeth on your front lawn on any given time....

If you look forward to winter time so your neighbors don't have to hear the sock war every morning....

If you can't finish any dang task even shutting the refrigerator door then....

If putting away clothes requires an entourage......

If you look forward to time at the dentist and think of it as "me" time then......

wow, the list could go on.......

I literally stepped on fake vampire teeth on my front lawn this evening and thought my goodness does everyone have this problem? You think I am needing a little vacation? Bobby and I are excited to get down to the beach in January again. I'm looking forward to doing more research on my horror flick called "Off Season" (yeah, I know there is some little animal animated flick with the same name, probably) where strange ghostly families live in vacant homes during the off season at a beach resort.....startling a couple who comes to check on their house in the OFF SEASON. I know, I have an active imagination. Perhaps I could work the fake vampire teeth into the script-ah, yes....I knew they were there for a reason.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Bedtime last night....two sons, two very different stories....(And don't get me wrong I love them both crazily, it's just like the weather in Colorado with the two, one minute it's sunny, the next it's snowing).

In three year old's bedroom:
"Mommy, let's sing a song about how much I like you."
Song proceeds....something about hugs, kisses, being nice and generally like-ability from a three year old's perspective.


In six year old's bedroom during the tuck in:
"So we're going to family bowling tomorrow night....doesn't that sound like fun?"
"No. We're not going, " he states grumpily.
"But buddy, you said you wanted to go, " I say.
"NO (emphatically) I did NOT (yes, he did). Plus, just where are they going to bowl in my school?"
"In the hallways, " I reply.
"NO, they're not (yes, they are). Plus, bowling balls will crack the hallways!!"
"They're not using real bowling balls, buddy," I explain.
"YES, THEY ARE!!!! (no they're not).'s the spice of life.

Monday, November 16, 2009


So even if there isn't too much art going on in the "studio" at least it's getting a bit organized. I can now actually find things I need and since it's the first room in my house that people see (being right next to the front door), it's kind of nice that the chaos has subsided a little (note to self-next studio is in an attic or a nice little carraige house will do).
I've been was almost exactly two years ago that I hit my stride with my art. I remember keeping it on the down was just for myself. I didn't really tell my husband as I didn't want to "proclaim" anything. I set no expectations, I cleared out my bleachers of doubters. I've really enjoyed it. Now, my well seems a bit empty these days. But I'm starting to feel it flow again....the ebbs and flows-ah, such is life.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Cry of the Wild

Flash to me and Jamie-we are in Target. It is back to school time in September. We are picking out NEW stuff-and as far as kids go, it doesn't really matter what it is, it is new and it is exciting. Except for J, who is proceeding to rain on my shiny unsharpened pencil parade and I am about to snap a three ring binder on his head. I want to yell. I want the other mothers who know my pain to hear me. I am calling out to them, a wolf cry. Or it's more like a dog whistle. And most of you can hear it...but of course, there are a few mothers of perfect children who are deaf to it .... they are in denial, of course.
I don't know what provokes me but it seems like when I am in public I am more likely to blow it an audience? Is it my way of making everything worse than it should be ?....Ah, the drama....This past Halloween we did our costume shopping in monsoon weather (you laugh, it's true). There wasn't an inch of our bodies that couldn't be wrung out and then used to fill a small kiddie pool. But with my mother's help (who stays positive throughout the mayhem-benefit of being a grandma for sure) we do it, Megatron, Scream costume check, and check....but not without me completely losing it in the Party City parking goodness, lady, get a grip.

So you may see me in stores but I rarely have my children with me (yeah and it's like 9:40pm). And I may look like I'm smugly smiling when your child is throwing a tantrum over forbidden SpongeBob fruit snacks but I'm really just smiling because I understand. And I think three ring binders are perfectly okay on a child's head- And hey, it's a pretty good cover especially if it's raining out.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Nobody Loves Anybody Quite Like That

I'm embarrassed to admit that I am sadly hooked on Stephanie Meyers Twilight series (it's kind of like admitting that I do like Justin Timberlake-yeah, I said it)....and I can't for the life of me, figure out why. They aren't the best written books, they are swooning and swamped with repetitive dialogue ..Edward, the teen vampire, is like a statue of ice, a model, an angel, we get it- the dang boy is cute, Bella (his love interest) is hopelessly mediocre at best. The books aren't terribly hard to read but they are awfully tough to put down.....

So I've been thinking, HEY! How come my high school boyfriend didn't love me that much? And are we setting our young ladies up for failure and disappointment? Because c'mon, let's face it, there aren't too many 17 year olds willing to buy you a new car so you don't get hurt or whisk you away when strangers press too close or suck the venom out of your arm when necessary....AND I mean, how many of them actually drive infamously "safe" Volvo SUV's?

So when my daughter gets up to dating age, I will be checking you out, Mr. Teenager...and if you don't pony up for the car stereo (read the books) or fight off werewolves (read the books) and other creatures of the night (read the books)...I just don't know, I just don't know if you'll be good enough for my little girl.


I haven't felt like me in a long while. Creativity in a slump. General unease. Not feeling so fun/ny these is true that when you don't have your health, you ain't got nothin'. Well, it seems as much as my insides are connected, all of my symptoms are too and it all globs up into a general malaise. So I'm happy to get back to my diet. I promise I'll be good. I just want me back.

Recently, I've been hearing a lot about the vegan diet. An interview with Jonathan Safran Foer (who has recently published the book Eating Animals)was really "illuminating" (he he). I had no idea how much energy we put into processing meat and I never gave a second thought to where my milk came from. I really thought there was a friendly farmer milking Bessie out yonder pasture. Until now, my animal rights initiatives have really been limited to my humane mice traps and making sure my dog gets fed on time. It's something to look into.

Alas, it's the new buzz word-VEGAN and Celiac is oh so late August. But I've been thinking, hey, as long as I'm on an extremely restrictive diet, why not make it more so? That is so me, to think like that, hmm...maybe I'm in there after all.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Medical Mystery Tour-A Rant

This past 5 months I've had quite the tour of doctor's offices, hospitals, co-pays, prescription drugs, diets, and our health care system in general. My diagnosis: DOA. And I, folks, have good health care coverage. So it really irks me to no end that certain members of Congress have put forth their heath care reform bill and it is no longer than my Beowulf (barf) paper in 11th grade honors English....This bill is infected with the disease of allowing health insurance companies to STILL reject a patient with PRE-EXISTING conditions. Folks, that means little ole' me with my crappy little ole' Celiac disease. That means you, yes you, with the UTI (considered a "pre-existing condition) oh, and don't EVER plan to get pregnant and then switch plans, oh no, because THAT is a PRE-EXISTING condition as well. Really. Really?

I'm sorry I'm not asking for much. I have friends and family who have different views than I, I respect other people's views I do, really. But let's face it, letting the government in on the health care option (as AN OPTION, people) does this: it BREAKS UP THE MONOPOLY that the health insurance companies have on us. It creates competition, competition my friends is good for ALL of the rest of us.

Because all of those Congress Peoples up there on that Hill, they have good health care coverage, they do. And they will never be denied because of a pre-existing condition even if it is plain ole' stupidity.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Ditching the Diet

So I'm off the diet. It's like I've been given the day pass from the mental hospital. Be good, eat what you want, be back by 5. I've got about a week to ingest regular ole' stuff and we go back to doing the Celiac tests again. In order for my tests to ring true, I've got to get on the gluten. Turns out, not all of the proper tests were done. Do I have Celiac disease? Probably. But before you tell me that it's for the rest of my life-I want to be 100% sure...well, I'll take anything over 95. So I've made a list of all the foods and beers I am going to enjoy during this reprieve. I promise I won't have a pity party...just a regular party full of things I'm going to enjoy for most likely the last time. I've already called my mom to make her famous bread, perused the ultimately tempting beer aisle at Wegman's and found a Starr Hill sampler, I'm going to make gooey Toll House chocolate chip cookies and make a real grilled cheese and nibble garlic bread hot from the oven, lavish over pizza, a glazed doughnut, eat my regular morning cereal...and then check back in....hello, my name is Beth and I am a celiac. I've been off the wagon and now I'm back on.