Friday, May 20, 2011

Just Right

so sorry person who took this-i lost the contact info, apologies, apologies

 There are stretches when you can feel time moving past you like water through oars.
There is time that you would anxiously like to get back.
Time that you would gladly tuck away.
Time that is wasted.

Many nights I just prop my feet up, think I should be "doing something else"......

Lately, I've been remembering this feeling I used to get when my children were younger and before I even had kids....that feeling that everything is aligned just right. When my babies were, well, babies, it could be that time when the newborn fell asleep on your chest, nestled just right, the other child out with his dad, the Christmas tree is glowing like the best kind of candy, a drink is within hand's reach, a really good movie has come on (one you have been meaning to watch) and the remote isn't even needed, there's no where to go, I am hunkered down and content.
When I was a kid, it could be a book, a comfy seat on a long car ride, a snack. A rainy day, spending time drawing in my studio, good Podcast on (Radiolab or Studio 360 or This American Life), child doodling on the soft furry rug (on paper, of course!), flow.
I know people would call this syncronicity or something fancy like that but it's simply not that easy to explain. And I haven't felt it in so long....the kids all falling asleep in their PJ's coming home from a day out, the dogs not barking as we ninja style sneak them in the house....that perfect run on a tree lined road in October. Oh, elusive feeling, where are you?
These days it  feels like I'm keeping tops all spinning at once on a very slippery table. None are turning at the same frequency, or are the same color, shape or size. It'll come again.

P.S-From the cliffhanger the other day, (yes you had to read all of that drivel to get to this excitement), my neighbor's ALARM was going off. A gaggle of us watched the policemen trying to break into my friend's home only to find the front door open, no, she said later to said police officers, I wasn't robbed, my house just looks that way-love it!

No comments: