Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Eyeballs


 Before you have kids people might say things to you like:

Get ready to clear off those coffee tables, you won't be putting anything on there anytime soon.

 Say goodbye to ever going to the bathroom by yourself again. Oh and showers too.

Get plenty of sleep, you're gonna need it.

But no one, I repeat, no one has probably ever said for you to get ready to see sticky Halloween eyeballs above your front entrance every damn day because your kid threw them up there and now they are permanently stuck and too high to reach even with a ladder. Oh and if you dare try to poke at them with the end of a broom they will leave behind a trail of slime on your builder grade flat white paint not unlike a slug's.


Now let's look at some beautiful pumpkins and such from our field trip to the farm-it's the eyeball-less side of October:




cinderella pumpkin  

pickin' an apple


surprisingly my kids did not want to take this one home (?)

did you know there are over 7000 different types of apples (see I was listening to the farmer)

conversation

snout 

quack

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Tuesday

Madam of the house


tree "orbs" with hammock-very rough

Drawn while watching American Horror Story-there is a ghost who looks a bit like the woman above-ignore the fabric, it's for placement only.....got so much to do tonight. Better get cracking.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

10 on a Thursday

In the vein of Elizabeth's10 on a Tuesday

1. A Coast Guard helicopter landed in the soccer field at our school right behind my house this morning.

2. It was an assembly.

3. I need to read the school newsletters more closely.

4. I went gluten free again but yet ate a piece of cake yesterday at work, please someone tell me how to tap into that thing called willpower.

5. I am reading Tana French's In The Woods right now and have been completely ignoring my kids (future therapy bills). But however, I think it will be worth the neglect since I haven't read a book this great in forever. AND bonus, there are more in the series.....

5. American Horror Story is the craziest show on television. You had me at Hell-o. (I can see more therapy bills in my future). It's not for everyone, even though the writers are the ones from Glee (wow, they are not in Ohio with this one).

6. We have a skeleton hanging on our front door. Our town is very windy making Mr. Bones scrape across the metal of the door constantly. What's that?  my three year old asks when she hears the ominous scratching sound, oh that's just the skeleton on the front door, is my reply and it's perfectly acceptable.

7. Has anyone ever noticed how ugly Jay Leno's set is?....wood paneling? Steve Martin was on last night-normally I am a Letterman gal.

8. I have a crush on Steve Martin. (I mean who doesn't?)

9. I am supposed to be drawing right now but I am all revved up by the helicopter landing.

10. Did I mention that a helicopter landed practically in my backyard this morning?



video

Friday, October 14, 2011

Thrice



I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure. ~Mae West

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

To Follow (or not, that is the question)

The Fuller Family pumpkin


I don't do directions. (you can use that if you want). And before kids this was not such a problem, aside from an Ikea bookcase that ended up more like a coffee table or actually ANY recipe that I thought perhaps didn't need baking soda. I managed well enough without the 1, 2, 3. Don't get me wrong, I have been known to read trail maps but didn't necessarily follow them when I lived in Colorado (I'm not that irresponsible). AND, I always left a note on my car that gave a round-about area that my mountain lion savaged body could be found in. (I am all about saving the taxpayer that one more day of helicopter searching.) But now, I am confronted with homework and projects, all of which require the reading and more importantly the following of directions.
Yesterday we, the whole family, set about decorating a pumpkin for my son's Kindergarten October Family Project. The directions were to decorate the pumpkin (in my mind-a real pumpkin) using objects found in the house, cereal, string, yarn, cotton balls.....in my Amelia Bedelia mode, I thought...hmmm....how to glue cotton balls onto a three dimensional waxy orange surface? So out came the hot glue gun, wire, and my BAG-O-STUFF (cue husband's weird look) which has the remnants of last year's Recycle Bot Project (a whole other story). And like a creative pack of wolves, we descended on the pumpkin. Voila-see above.

Today, I look further down the instructions-OH, there is a page two.....




It's a pumpkin to PRINT out and decorate. OOPS, gasp, what to do (and when have I EVER chosen 3D over 2D?)....so we take a picture of our creation (see way above) and GLUE that onto the print out. Done.
Now, I'm wondering if we let his teacher think that we are just over achievers when it comes to the monthly family project OR do we tell her that mom can't read, no, can't follow directions? I'd better get better at this or else my son's teacher may just have a full grown evergreen tree decorated in cotton balls in her classroom come December.


P.S-I love, love, love, Amelia Bedelia.




Friday, October 07, 2011

Wisdom (teeth)

just a little diddy


I had one of my two wisdom teeth pulled out today. Many people would just shrug that off as mundane every day material since practically every person on the face of the earth who goes to the dentist regularly (or intermittently) has had their wisdom teeth out. But, no, with me, it's like no one has ever done it before me, it's groundbreaking, it's worthy of my very own Nintendo DS (see tonsilectomy with 7 year old son). Even as I write this, there are gobs of blood (not alarmly though) trailing down the back of my throat, an oyster slide of blood meal if you will (this may be the last time you ever read my blog, I know). It's tough people! It's a hard, hard rain that's gonna fall!

My son (5) fell down today, playmate on top, sandwiching him between the soccer ball and the boy. Crying, he came up to me and I said, "Oh yeah, kid, you got it bad? Look at this." And I appropriately spit out a wad of blood. That, my friends, is instant Kindergarten street cred and just the type of thing I'll do to get a little sympathy.
"Milk it for what it's worth," said my husband. Little does he know, little does he know......
(happy weekend).

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Think Too Much!



Sky is finally blue. Joints have finally stopped aching. Still, I'm in a grumpy mood. I'll come back later when I can be more agreeable. But first, you know when you just google a simple idea, like, say, I want a spooky book to read at this time of year so I search for that and then that search leads to another and next thing you know you are not where you thought you'd be (a.k.a some really creepy movie/book website).....the internet is a dangerous place for impressionable minds like mine. I'm such a glutton for punishment because now I can't stop thinking about how messed up people are and while I live in Brigadoon, those lunatics are out there......real, imagined, in books and movies. I thought about telling my husband last night but couldn't figure out how to phrase my words. "You see, I was looking for good scary reads on GoodReads and then that led to this creepy movie site and then linked to reading about real husband and wife serial killers (what I didn't need to know) and now my inquiring mind wants to know where is Barbie of the Ken and Barbie Killers and how could she be free (because she is) after murdering her own sister with her husband and then.........." on and on. He'd roll his eyes and say, "You think too much. AND you read too much!" Thus quantifying his theory that I do have my head in book way too often.....and wasn't it BOOKS that got you into this mess anyway, he'd say......hmmmm....maybe he does have a point. Okay, it's back to memoirs for me.