Saturday, January 21, 2012

The List

Life is a pure flame,
and we live by an invisible sun within us.
~Sir Thomas Brown


I ate lunch today by myself.....in a fancy restaurant. Yep. I did. Now, many of you may have already checked this off your list of bold things to do long ago but not me. Now don't get me wrong, I've wolfed down a sandwich or two in a Panera on my lonesome. But I have never had a waiter ALL to myself and it was grand. Like they were waiting on me! Wait a minute......anyway. The food was delicious and I didn't even act like someone was coming to join me or fiddle through my purse for my sketchbook or send texts to my sister (which by the way would have gone something like this.....i am n a restrant by myself! smiley face and she replies what u r n a restraint? You can take it from there.).

The thing is I was (I guess past tense is the correct tense here) so self conscious for like, forever. I never would eat by myself surrounded my conversing couples and family orbits, what would they think of me? Gasp. I can sum up my "sc" by this little story my mom once told me years after the incident, apparently I wouldn't get up to throw my trash away at Kings Dominion (an amusement park) because I told her, "What if people look at me?" (and I quote). As if there is NOT enough to see at an amusement park that people are going to strain their necks to watch a 13 year old stride to the bee infested trash can to discard her lunch and make bets on if she trips or falls or doesn't quite make the launch into the can forcing the embarrassing re-delivery into the can. It's exciting stuff.

In years since, I got well past that low but I've always had some little fringe of it in me. Next I want to go the movies by myself IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY....I know, I lead a crazy life. What's on your list?

3 comments:

LR said...

great story. i actually went to the movies by myself about 10 in the morning a month ago. wonderful!!! i haven't yet had dinner at a fancy restaurant by myself, but soon. enjoy your weekend.

Caatje said...

I went to a movie matinee once years ago by myself and was the only one there! I sat on the balcony overlooking tons of empty seats with a big screen all for me myself and I. It was a very deluxe experience!
I have lived alone for many years, so doing things by myself has become pretty normal. I know however it's not that way for everyone, so congrats to your courage!

cheryl.mccann said...

yay for you! i've done it - but i always have to have a book with me. your 13 year old self made me laugh out loud - it sounds just like my daughter.