Stop This Train
Sometimes there is a song that sums things up so well, you feel overwhelmed. I heard this years ago one night, I could listen to it over and over again. I'm turning forty in a few weeks and it's not the number, or the wrinkles that bother me the most (although, it weird to not be an "important" demographic according to popular society anymore), it's that my parents are getting older, my aunts and uncles, all of the generation before me.
It is so not about me.
My husband has been trying to figure out what to do for this pinnacle of a birthday. Usually, I want to get out, kidless, enjoy the evening but I think this year I want the young ones around, my whole family, all of them. And we'll ride the train together and enjoy every minute of it.
I've been trying to sum up my artwork and it it's about that feeling, of being home, of being a kid again, that feeling of comfort, family, the little things.....because I can't "go back again" I do it through my art. I even use some of my favorite books, my trusty Girl Scout manual for one.
Art puts me back in touch, back to 19 Carousel Court (yes, that was my first address). I move things around and draw until it becomes apparent, ah, yes, there it is. By making my art, it seems to make me more permanent, like marking my territory somehow, like telling a story left behind for younger ones to enjoy. (I love that kids like my artwork as much as adults.)
This is a good thing, a necessary need, I need to find that place everyday, that place where I feel home.
I chase it in my artwork all of the time.