A Beautiful Change
People love to hear about how you don't eat donuts anymore.
They say, ohh, how good for you and in their minds they are planning to clobber you with a Papa John's Supreme Pizza as soon as they get the chance. They love to hear you talk about eating better as they bite into that Dunkin goodness.....they love it......and soooooooo
I thought about this post for weeks. Elizabeth Dillow's sister Katherine Willis Pershey has written a book called Any Day a Beautiful Change (I haven't read it yet but plan to.... She asked us to write about our beautiful change that has either happened or something you want to change......mine, oh yeah, it has happened, like a bakers dozen over my head. Change, yes, beautiful change....
Having kids, yes that was a huge change, beautiful and mind blowing (see last post). But I have to say that the beautiful change for me was also the ugliest (I kid you not) and it happened precisely on June 9, 2009, when I got really, really really sick. The kind of sick I can't describe on this blog because it would attract too many weird people (like that's a bad thing). Let's just say, I was getting beat up by my insides.
It started as what I thought was a nasty bug in that June.
And then I forgot normal.
I couldn't remember when I didn't take two immodiums a day just to make it through teaching sixth grade art. The panic and terror of that, I can't tell you. It was like middle school nightmares all over again but now you are the one standing with your back to the classroom (well, not really but, you get my drift).
It soon became normal to be nauseous after I ate dairy and wheat and stay that way for hours. It was normal to look like I was sixth months pregnant because my body wasn't processing dairy due to the damage in my intestines (yes, we called it a cheese baby) . I was quickly becoming a 70 year old who when asked how they were doing launched into colonoscopy talk (don't ask). I couldn't believe I was 37 going on 77. And I felt that way too, along with pains in my hands and arms that would keep me up all night. I was diagnosed with celiac disease in January of the following year 2010.
Let me tell you. I remember saying over and over, I need to eat better.....I really should eat better. I mean, don't we all? Little did I know that I wouldn't have a choice.
What this beautiful/ugly change in my life has done has made me look, really look at the foods we eat. The fuel we put in our bodies, wow. And it's made me understand what it is like to be chronically sick. The disease forced me to be more responsible with my health and also be a complete pain in the ass when going out to eat and traveling (ask my husband, no wait, don't).
It took me awhile to actually go gluten free. Why you ask! It's a diet. It's not chemo, there are no drugs, you are lucky. For God's sake woman, how hard can it be? But we are dealing with me here.....I practically took two years to admit that someone other than myself was.....wait for it.....right. (To my defense, I do have my reasons for taking so long. But it simply had to be MY decision, it had to be MY beautiful change.)
Sooooo, last November I threw the wheat towel in (from sheer desperation-I couldn't draw because my hands were in so much pain), went on a no gluten and no cheating diet and all, yes, ALL of the ugly, it went away. Somebody pinch me.
This change in me, this is a BEAUTIFUL change.
P.s-this post is to celebrate beautiful change not to make you feel guilty about eating a donut, trust me, I had a DELICIOUS frosted GF cupcake yesterday that was the size of my cat's head, yum.
P.s.s going GF has not been without some grumbles though, I mean, you simply HAVE to when it's that Thin Mint time of year.
P.s.s.s I am noticing that ((((my parenthesis are turning into some type of literary matryoshka dolls)))))