Friday, July 20, 2012

Top Ten Reasons.....

Maine summers.......I think I like them.
 Saying you're not a summer person is kind of like saying that you don't like babies or that you don't like having any fun. It's time for me to sell you Fall and Winter yet again:

1. Jeans

2. Jeans that don't stick to you because of the heat and humidity (c'mon, I know it may be cool to wear those jeans out at night with a sequinny little top but really, you know you are cursing them as you peel them off every time you have to use the bathroom because of all those cranberry somethings that you drank so fast beacuse, damn it, it's freakin' hot).

3. Clothes for Fall and Winter can decidedly be more 20-30 something or other....I mean, in the summer, you are either in Mom shorts, the kind with the pockets that pucker out or you look slutty AND it is really, really hard to find the in between. I love that my sister years ago declared that she was never wearing shorts ever again and to my knowledge she has stuck with it-you go girl.

4. Shorts are invitably ugly.

5. Sweating is gross. (I'm pretty sure that there is some type of pig or warthog who would totally love my soccer bag, it's full of sweaty shin guards, cleats and such...it's so bad that I have to put it in the trunk of my car just to travel to a game because it smells THAT bad-I can't believe I just said that).

6. You should be outside because it's sunny but you can die of skin cancer......which brings me to my other summer grievance. Let's face it, we all look better with a tan but that is now FORBIDDEN. As well, it should be.....but my skin tans really easily. I can't help it, it just does, even with SPF 50 which is what I use (I know I just lost my last few readers on that one-sob, sob). I know you can get skin cancer in winter or fall too. But now I get tan in the summer and I can't help it and people are looking at me like I am shooting up heroin right in front of them at the grocery store by shopping with a tan. I am just waiting to hear (because I know they are out there) someone tell me that having a tan can kill me. waiting.....

7. I have all three kids at home with me at ALL times...because, I chose to be a teacher and teachers don't teach in the summer, I know, the nerve.

8. You always feel like at the end of summer that you should have enjoyed it more, should have hiked the AT, swam more laps, gone on a picnic, take the kids to this place and that......at the end of the other seasons we don't so this, evaluate what we have done. No one says, "Hey Tom, what'd YOU do this winter?"  just so he can talk about how he and his family bought a snow blower. So, it's kind of stressful to pack it all in. That's why I usually leave my summers pretty unstructured which also leads to slowly going crazy because, well, see #7.

9. No real good sports to watch...well, okay, this is my husband's grievance, but let's him have it, shall we?

10.  I can snowboard. But I can NOT get up on a wakeboard (never, ever have I gotten up) and folks, I have said it before, if I don't do it well, I don't do it all. And there's only so much I can do on a boat......other than damn it, get a tan.


P.S-I love the local fruits and vegetables in summer, the beach, the summery drinks, the no student drama, time with my kids when they are all getting along, I do . And the above is meant to be used for entertainment purposes only, I mean, really, I'm just doing my usual complaining about something and making it sound funny, it's a disguise......really.



3 comments:

clevergirlstudios said...

Read about your blog in Artful Blogging and thought I'd come take a look! Enjoying it very much. And I have to say I am a fan of the cooler weather - the Pacific Northwest suits me just fine (I hail from Vancouver, Washington). Loved having my coffee this morning in my cardigan watching the fog roll across the tree top....Thanks for sharing your beautiful artwork and stories! Best wishes, Jennifer

Unknown said...

I have pants on right now and it's 90+ outside! Haha

Deborah Mahnken said...

Found you through Claudine Hellmuth. I had to laugh, because I feel the same way about summer :)

I'd add on to your list 1) oppressive humidity and 2) bathing suit shopping ....